The Father You Knew
by BrandonMichelle
Summary: Cosette struggles with her feelings towards her father after his death. One shot, Novel verse based fic, Reviews are nice to see.


**AN: This was going to be a bigger part of another story i had in mind, but i've been to busy lately to write it and i couldnt make it work so i wrote this instead, it's not my best work i know but anyway...enjoy!**

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**The Father You Knew**

Every Sunday for Marius and Cosette Pontmercy was becoming a well-rehearsed routine for them now. After Jean Valjean died and they had buried him on Sundays the two of them would awake early, have breakfast, attend mass, visit the cemetery so Cosette could pay her respects and then take a walk around Paris.

This Sunday was going to be the same, except Cosette seemed a lot quieter and distracted today. He thought perhaps it was because she hadn't been sleeping well lately, she'd been having bad dreams and waking up during the night, needing Marius to hold her until she fell back to sleep. She wouldn't tell him what was wrong though, she just kept saying that it was nothing and that she would be fine, but Marius knew it had something to do with her father.

Today they were walking in the Luxembourg gardens, their absolute favourite place in Paris, it was summer now and it was looking so beautiful but even that failed to raise a smile from Cosette today. Marius knew this was unusual, because even after the sadness that could overtake her sometimes in the cemetery the beauty of Paris never failed to raise her spirits again.

There were some children playing with model boats in the fountain, but Cosette was too distracted to take any notice of them today, to Marius it seemed like she wasn't even aware of where they were, this was the Luxembourg for heaven's sake! A place that meant so much to them and it didn't even register with her today.

"Isn't it a lovely day Cosette?" Marius said, trying to arouse any kind of response from her"Paris is so beautiful in the summer don't you think?"

"Mmm hmm" Cosette replied, not really listening to him

Marius sighed and stopped walking rather abruptly, which did finally get her attention. "Cosette" he said, "Please tell me what the matter is, you've been so quiet lately".

"Aren't I allowed to be quiet?" Cosette said, almost sarcastically.

"It's just not like you". He said with a smile, "Here, come sit" he said as he took her towards a nearby bench.

"If there's something bothering you or something you wish to talk about, you know that I'm here for you don't you?" he said to her

"Yes" Cosette said, "It's just hard to say that's all"

"Try me" Marius said

"I want too, I just don't know if you'll understand. I'm not even sure if I understand it" Cosette said

"Help me understand Cosette" Marius said

"Well…" she began, taking a deep breath. "It's about my father; I'm scared for his soul. I keep having nightmares about him, that's why I've been waking up during the night so often. I keep seeing him suffering and lonely like he was the day he died, I keep hearing him calling to me in my sleep but I can't get to him….Marius, what if he's in a terrible place? What if he's in terrible pain? I can't bear to think of him like that".

"Oh no Cosette" Marius said, taking her hand in his. "He was a good man; he's with God now I'm sure of it".

Cosette simply nodded, still unsure where her father's soul rested now.

"If you're so unsure, then all you need to do is to keep praying for him. If you do that then God will take care of your father". He told her

She nodded again, and Marius knew there was more in her heart that she was keeping from him.

"I'm so sorry you've been tormented so much my love, it pains me to see you unhappy. If there's more you need to tell me then please, let me help you".

"It's just…. Sometimes I feel so guilty because I don't know how to feel about him and that makes me even more unhappy. He gave me so much and I feel so ungrateful sometimes. There's so many things I didn't know, so many things he kept from me. He was my father but I don't know who he was, he kept so many secrets from me and I don't understand why. I don't want to think of him as a bad man, but sometimes I don't know what else to think".

Cosette let some tears fall down her face; she was tired of not knowing how to feel. She wanted the guilt to go away, and she needed someone to help her find a way of making the pain she felt stop.  
Marius handed her a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe away her tears, it was only a small comfort he was sure, but he didn't know what else to do at that moment. He did however have something he wanted to ask her, something that might make her think a little clearer about her father.

"Cosette, can you answer me something. Honestly?" He said, and she nodded as she finished wiping her eyes.

"Did you love you father?" he said straightforwardly

"What?" Cosette replied

"Did you love him?" he repeated

"Yes, I did" she said confidently

"And do you think he loved you?" Marius then asked

"Yes, I'm sure of it" she replied with even more confidence

"Then that's all you need to know about him" Marius said, taking her hand again. "Your father had secrets, that's true. He had a past that he was ashamed of, but it doesn't mean that the father you knew wasn't the man you thought he was. He loved you so much; any fool could have seen how much he loved you".

"Then why did he push me away after we were married, why couldn't he have just been honest with me about who he was?" She asked, knowing that was the one thing she couldn't understand the most out of everything,

"Perhaps he was afraid you'd stop loving him, so he felt he had to let you go first to spare him any more pain. Can you understand that?" Marius asked

"I think so…it doesn't make it any easier though." She replied sadly

"It will, if you remember the man you loved and not a man you didn't know" He said. "Who he was is of no consequence, all you need to know is that there was a man named Jean Valjean who had a daughter named Cosette, and he loved her more than any father could ever love his child. Nothing else matters as long as you remember that".

Cosette let more tears run down her face as she let the good memories of her father run through her mind, he had indeed been a good man, he took in a child who had no one else in the world and raised her with love and care, that was the mark of a good man surely. Marius was right, what did it matter if he had a dark past, the man who was her father was the only man she knew and loved and that's who she should remember.

"Thank you Marius" she said quietly, and he smiled back at her tear stained face, she still looked ridiculously adorable even now.

She dried her eyes again with her handkerchief, and then blew her nose, not the most ladylike of things to do in a park but it was better than being a teary snotty mess.

"I'm sorry; I must look a fright at the moment". She said, managing a small smile as she made her face presentable again.

"No, you look beautiful my love". He said, making sure she knew this by kissing her gently on her lips.

**The End**


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